Chicks Heart Fights

In anticipation of the Olympics, Forbes.com has a story where some of the world’s top athletes discuss who is the perfect athlete , and many picked Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan. Though they wouldn’t be my choice, they are reasonable choices, as they are two of the most dominant forces in their sports. As I read the story, I couldn’t help but be peeved that the no wrestlers or mixed martial artists made the story. I’m used to it, though, my favorite sports are often forgotten.

As I thought about it, I realized that perfection is not really possible in wrestling and MMA, because both sports require mastery of a person, not a course, apparatus, or any other unchanging object. A gymnast can garner a perfect score when she executes her routine flawlessly-no breaks in form, no steps, no mistakes. A pitcher has a perfect game when he doesn’t allow anyone to reach base. No matter how much baseball or gymnastics change over the years, perfection is attainable because the goal does not change. Make it through a mistake-free routine. Prevent 27 batters from reaching base. Hit that mark, and you reach perfection.

In MMA and wrestling, you are aiming to dominate a person. People are no static objects; instead, they are constantly working to get better, and to learn the strengths and weaknesses of their opponents. When Steve Mocco beat Tommy Rowlands at the Olympic Trials, it was because the pair had wrestled each other many times, and Steve was ready for what Tommy was bringing to the mat. Mastering a dynamic human opponent is quite different than mastering a balance beam, which will not change.

I don’t think I have ever watched a night of fights where the fights have been good, but I was still disappointed. It’s a shame that EliteXC was afraid to just let the fighters fight. I hate to be a conspiracy theorist, but it seems that the referee and fight doctor were told to be more conservative. Was it because they were on network TV? Was America not ready for the sight of James Thompson’s ear flapping in the wind? A breakdown of the show, after the jump.

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I need to get more excited about the fights tonight. I’m really looking forward to seeing Robbie Lawler. I’m also puzzled by the commercial choices so far - Barrilla Plus pasta with the hot neighbor? OK. If that’s what the media buyers think will work!

We start with dancing girls. Sort of Luvabull like dancers. It’s great to hear Gus Johnson, but then he ruins it all by calling the sport vicious and violent. NO. NOOOOOOOO. I already sense my annoyance level hitting an all time high. Now, we get some Frank Shamrock, and that man has clearly gotten a chemical peel this week! Shamrock says that Bruce Lee is the godfather of MMA. Also, the father of a hot son.

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There are bad ideas, there are terrible ideas, and then there is celebrity MMA. According the the New York Post’s Page Six, Mark Cuban is in talks with Mario Lopez to start a celebrity MMA show:

“We’re talking to Mario Lopez to put together a celebrity mixed-martial-arts      program where celebs beat the heck out of each other,” the media mogul tells Time. “It sounds like fun depending on who the celebs are. I could think of a few names.”

Seriously? I guess A.C. Slater’s experience wrestling for the Bayside High Tigers and Iowa do qualify him to run a show where celebrities wail on each other, but let’s call it that. Celebrities Wailing on Each Other. Let’s not call it what it clearly won’t be - MMA.