Chicks Heart Fights

Sorry this is coming so late, folks. Better late than never, right? Onto the show:

Previously on the Ultimate Fighter: Rampage is pissed. Super pissed. Matt Brown is pissed off, due to Jeremy May, so the fight is on tonight.

Team Forrest doesn’t understand why Jeremy May would pick on Matt Brown, since Matt Brow is a tough sum’bitch. Back at the house, the boys are drinking-including Jeremy. Drinking, before a fight? Wow. He is pretty sauced. Tim Credeur calls Jeremy everything that we have tried to prove that fighters are not-a douchebag. Jeremy says that he poured out vodka and put water in the bottle. Excuse me? You wasted perfectly good vodka? Now you’re on my list.

Jeremy plans to punch Matt’s face in, in a good Christian way. He claims his style of fighting is Jeremy jitsu. While training, he hurts his knee, so he can’t do much. Hotness says he’s been nursing it for about a week, and he just rides the bike.

Cut to Matt Brown - his teammates predict he will win by murder. We’ve yet to hear Matt Brown even talk during this episode-oh now, he is. He’s been to jail a few times, and had a few brushes with death.  Forrest says that he’s been putting a beating on him in training, so the least he could do is put a beating on someone else in the Octagon.

Both guys make weight easily. During the photo opp, Jeremy clowns around, and Matt Brown looks homicidal. I notice that Hotness is the only person saying good things about Jeremy, and this leads me to believe that he has to be one of the nicest people on the planet.

Riddle talks about Jeremy, and tells Matt Brown that Jeremy’s knee is messed up so that Matt should leg kick the hell out of him. Et tu, Riddle? Crossing team lines because Jeremy is a d-bag? Seconds later, we find out that Riddle is 100% right, because he has been saying that his knee is much better than he has let on. Douchebag!

Trash talk guessing game: I’m going to beat him at my game… If I’m tired, he’s more tired than me… My only focus is performing at my best… I’m definitely going to be the victor here…

Jeremy comes out swinging, but Matt is blocking everything. Jeremy lands a high kick but then falls back. Matt throws a few leg kicks and then goes to the ground with Jeremy. Matt works an armbar, but Jeremy gets out and up, but then throws a few punches with Matt on his back. Jeremy stands up, and then Matt awkwardly takes him down. Matt tries to work a side guard, but that does nothing. He does a little awkward ground and pound, and Forrest is pissed. He doesn’t understand what happened to the Matt Brown animal. Brown throws a few knees, rocks Jeremy back on his heels, and then throws a leg kick to finish him.  Brown wins by TKO. Rampage says that Jeremy was like the car on the way to the gas station that had only $2 worth of gas in it. Brown’s foot is hurt from Jeremy’s face. Jeremy realizes that his lack of cardio played into it, but then he does what I hate so much: “In a million years, that would never happen again. I could beat him. He got lucky.” No, he just kicked you in the face, and you had your back on the mat.

Two fights tonight, so Forrest has to pick the next fight. He has two of his fighter to flip a coin to pick the fight. The next fight will be… Luke Zachrich vs. Daniel Cramer. How have I not noticed Cramer before? He’s pretty. So pretty. His skin is glowing. Even Credeur says that he is the hottest cast member. Rampage wants to know how Forrest is picking fights, and Rampage says that Forrest has “comboonyes.” Um, cojones?

Zachrich is the guy who was picked last, and he is still upset about it. Daniel Cramer is on a mission to not show that he is just some pretty boy. He has no tattoos, and worked at a country club, but he likes to fight.

Trash talk guessing game, #2: I plan on standing up and banging with him… I plan on using my strong points… I’m not a big $%^ talker, I guess… CLEARLY. These boys are boring.

Cramer comes out with a few punches, Zachrich defends, and let’s just say, this isn’t a technical fight. It’s ugly. They punch, clinch, punch, clinch. They go to the ground for a second, then are back up. Yawn. Punch, clinch, punch, clinch. Cramer seems to be doing some damage. Luke’s punches are more brushing against Cramer’s face than they are actually landing. They go the ground, and Zachrich tries for a rear naked choke that is weaker than Jeremy May’s vodka. Round 1 over.

Round 2: Punch, clinch, to the ground. Cramer is on top and tries to work some ground and pound. That, too is awkward. Cramer throws a fury of punches, Mazzagatti calls it. Cramer wins, and Team Rampage gets their first victory.

Rampage recaps the fight in a way only Rampage could, and I could never do any justice of it in this recap. Rampage is in a great mood, and Cramer is too because he is $10K richer. Zachrich  is pissed at himself, because this was his first time getting TKO’ed.

Team Rampage has control-and he is going out and celebrating. He is going to go out and dance-and the he dances for us. Seriously, I love Rampage.

Unfortunately, my DVR cut out before I saw scenes from next week, so you’ll just have to be surprised.