Well, friends, due to the cold and rainy Chicago weather, and my utter laziness, I’m staying in and ordering the fight. So, stick with me tonight and I will tell you all about the fights, the ridiculous statements out of Joe Rogan’s mouth, and the D-list celebrities at the fight. In turn, please feel free to comment, email me, and definitely update me on the OU-Texas Tech game. (Seriously, could college football get any crazier? OU’s QB is out of the game and the Red Raiders are leading 20-7 with about 10 minutes left in the first half!)
The broadcast begins with Dana talking very excitedly about the Evans - Bisping fight. It seems like Dana is trying to convince himself that this will be a great fight. It’s true that the winner of this fight will move into the elite of the light heavyweights, but the main card in the fight is usually at least one guy who is already elite, but whatever. We also get to see Joe Rogan’s Baron Davis-like beard. I think Baron Davis rocks it better, but that’s just me.
By the way, I forgot to mention before, if anyone knows of any bars on the north side of Chicago that shows UFC and has wi-fi, please let me know. I have no problem being the geek at the bar with the laptop for UFC 79.
Wow, just when I thought that the UFC fans couldn’t get more, um, hooligan-esque than they were in England, they put the event in New Jersey. Even the Octagon Girls look like they work at the Bada-Bing. And, I see Joe Rogan’s nipples. Ew. At least Bruce Buffer’s shiny suits will fit in here.
First fight is Frankie Edgar vs. Spencer Fisher. Frankie Edgar is from Jersey, so we should hear “GO FRANKEEEEEEEE!!!” a minimum of 122 times. He evens comes out to a remix of the Sopranos theme song! Love it. Spencer Fisher comes into the Johnny Cash song “God’s Gonna Cut You Down.” Fantastic song choice - and Joe Rogan agrees.
Edgar gets a nice double leg and takes Fisher down at about 4:15. Edgar does some work in the guard, they get up, and then he takes him down again. Frankie is getting some punches in while in Fisher’s guard. Fisher is already looking gassed. They’re back up, and Fisher tries for a high kick but slips and falls, and Edgar is on top of him again. Edgar is standing over Fisher and throwing some punches, and now he’s in half guard. Round 1 is over - I give it to Frankie Edgar. He was more aggressive and did more than defend, which is all Spencer did.
Round 2 - Frankie Edgar gets another double leg takedown. Edgar moves into half guard, but then loses it and is in full guard, throws some punches from a standing position and tried for a guillotine, but then Fisher got out of it. Edgar takes him back down, and is in control. Edgar is getting in some punches, and Spencer is cut. Frankie’s wrestling skills are showing. Round 2 is over, and I have to give this one to Edgar, too. I’ve yet to see anything slightly impressive out of Spencer.
Round 3: Spencer tries to get a spinning kick, but Edgar takes advantage of it and takes him down. Spencer is in a back mount and trying to sink the rear naked choke, but Spencer is defending it well. They’re both back up, but Spencer gets taken down… again. They’re up against the fence, and Frankie Edgar is landing some good jabs. They’re back up, and back down. There is a little more than a minute left, and I’ve yet to see Spencer do anything. As soon as I type that, he tries for a triangle, but then loses it. Round 3 is over, and to me, there is no question, it’s all Frankie Edgar.
BJ Penn is shown in the crowd, and he shows know emotion or recognition that he is on camera. I think he might be a robot. We hear Edgar say to one of his people :Get this fuckin shirt on. I gotta get paid. Nice. It’s official: Unanimous Decision for Frankie Edgar. He says “Not bad for a Jersey shore baby! Let’s support Rutgers wrestling!” Well, I like that. Very nice. They then show Rampage in the crowd, and in contrast to BJ, he is smiling and dancing. I kind of love Rampage.
Ed Herman vs. Joe Doerksen is our next fight. Not sure what Doerksen’s music is, but he is fired up, yelling and growling. Ed Herman is coming in to a Common song, though I don’t know which one (which is odd, because I love Common) and is sponsored by Condom Depot.
Round 1 - Both fighters come out swinging. Ed Herman has a nice whizzer to defend on the takedown, and Ed Herman gets the takedown with a trip. Doerksen gets out and they’re both up, ref moves them to the center and Herman throws a nice knee and takes Doerksen down. Doerksen is cut on the eye. Herman is completely in control, moving from full guard to side guard, was back in full guard, but it doesn’t matter, Ed Herman is completely in control. Round 1 over, I give it to Herman.
They show Serra in the crowd, and the place goes crazy. We can also really see Doerksen’s eye, and it is bad.
Round 2 - Herman comes out swinging and gets a takedown. Herman is in control, the ref stands them up, and then Doerksen gets behind Herman, tries for the RNC, but Herman reverses it. Doerksen had a leg, but doesn’t do much with it. Herman is back on Doerksen’s back. Doerksen rolls, and Ed Herman is in Doerksen’s mount, but then Doerksen locks up a triangle choke and an arm bar, and Herman is saved by the bell. Though Herman had most of the round, I think that Doerksen might have won that round because of the submission attempts.
Round 3 - Ed Herman throws a left hook, connects on the chin, and knocks Doerksen out. The fight is over. Ed Herman slobbers on the microphone while also campaigning for knockout of the night. Nice.
We get to see a preview of Forrest Griffin guest starring in Law and Order: SVU. I can’t wait!
Karo Parysian vs. Ryo Chonan is next. Ryo comes into some music I don’t know, with a black mask over his mouth, and in a black silk robe, and he has magenta hair with a black streak, and some of the guys in his corner have black hair with a pink streak. Interesting fashion statement. Dan Henderson is in his corner. Karo comes into Bad to the Bone -cliche! Karo is a lot more laid back, slapping hands with the fans. Why do I have a feeling that Karo drives a purple Camaro? Ryo Chonan shows absolutely no emotion. I think the UFC is being taken over by robots.
Round 1 - Ryo throws a kick, and Karo uses it to take him down. They’re on the ground trading punches for a while, and the ref stands them up at about 3:00. Each fighter lands a few punches, and then Karo gets the big takedown, and works against the fence. Karo lands a big right hand, and then they are back up. Ryo tries for a leg kick but Karo knocks him down. Round 1 over, it’s clearly for Karo.
Round 2 - Ryo kicks, but Karo catches it, but can’t take him down with it. Ryo kicks again, and Karo uses it to take him down again. (Wow, it’s true - men really do never learn!) They’re both back up, and Ryo has a leg. Karo takes control and takes him down. Karo is in the guard and throwing elbows and punches. I’ll give that one to Karo, too.
Round 3 - Parysian throws a punch but then uses that to try to take down Ryo. They’re standing up against the fence, and the boo-birds show up. The ref moves them to the center. Karo takes him down, and while in half guard, he throws some elbows while in the guard. Ryo rolls, and Karo is now on his back. Without doing much on the ground, they are now back up. Karo connects with a spinning back fist, and they end up again the fence. These two fighters are gassed, so not much is happening. The fight is over,and I think it has to be for Karo… zzzzz… I might actually fall asleep. Karo thinks that he didn’t perform at his best today and apologizes to the fans but wins the UD.
Silva vs. Houston: Silva comes into some fun Brazilian rap music. Houston comes into to Bawitdaba. He is a ridiculously good looking man, but points are taken off for the Nebraska hat. He is pumped up, and we learn that he is the single dad of 6 kids. Wow. I am going to go out on a limb and say that he has the best body in the UFC. Really, really nice to look at.
Round 1: Alexander grabs a hold of Silva immediately, at that strikes me as odd, considering Houston’s previous matches. Silva throws a kick, and then the two end up in the clinch Houston gets a big body lock takedown, but then they’re back up, Silva takes Houston’s leg and takes him down. This fight is now longer than Houston’s previous two fights combined. Houston is mounted, and Silva is throwing punches and elbows, and Houston is trying to hold on, but Silva rains down punches. TKO for Silva. Houston was out for a few seconds. In a classy move, Silva calls Houston his hero because of how he takes care of his six kids. That’s pretty cool.
Evans vs. Bisping: Evan’s entry music is some re-sampling/redo of David Bowie’s “Fame.” He looks relaxed, and ready to fight. The boos start before Bisping’s music starts. The music is that P. Diddy song that is done to the sample of Kashmir… can’t think of the name, but he automatically loses points for using a Diddy song. He used London Calling last time - stick with the Clash! Rampage Jackson gives Bisping some advice before Bisping takes the ring. Bisping is doing the dancing around before the fight, and really, God bless him, he does not have an ounce of rhythm,
Sidenote: Texas Tech beat Oklahoma, 34-27. Are you kidding me? Craziness!
Back to the fight. Round 1:Rashad Evans immediately moves in and works on a takedown, and has Bisping against the fence. They’re back up, and the crowd is chanting USA. The ref breaks them up, and Rashad throws some punches, and then clinches up again, they break up, and then Bisping throws a kick which Rashad catches and takes Bisping down. Rashad is on Bisping, but doesn’t do much damage, and Bisping is back up. Evans takes him down again. I guess that first round would go to Rashad, but it is close.
Round 2: Rashad lands a nice right, and then has a big fireman’s carry takedown, but Bisping immediately closes his guard. Rashad and Bisping hand fight, but don’t accomplish much, so the ref stands them up. They’re exchanging kicks and blows, and Bisping gets a big knee. Rashad moves in for the takedown, but it’s kind of half-hearted. Bisping lands a big punch and then gets a takedown at the buzzer. This round definitely goes to Bisping. Rashad looks spent. One of Bisping’s corner guys has the best British Cockney accents I’ve ever heard. Love it! (See, is that the kind of commentary you get it at the other MMA sites? No, that’s a Chicks Heart Fight exclusive.)
Round 3: Evans takes down Bisping and has him against the cage, but Bisping reverses it. He had Rashad’s back, but loses it. They’re both back up. Rashad shoots in and gets Bisping against the cage. Bisping rolls, and they’re both back up. Nothing majorly substantive has happened in this round, and it ends with Rashad shooting in for a takedown. I have no idea who won this.
I will say this - both guys looked spent going into the second round, and they were dying by the third. I’m sorry, but both of these guys blew it. If you luck into being the main card when you’re not a champion, and not even elite, you need to be in better shape than these two were in. Dana White tells both fighters that they had a great fight, and sorry Dana, but I disagree. Rashad Evans wins by a split decision. I’m happy because I like Rashad, but I am disappointed in the overall fight. Both guys give classy interviews - Bisping even thanks the people who came out and booed him. I have to be honest, I only understand about a third of what Bisping is saying.
So, that was an ok night of fights. I don’t think it was necessarily worth $40, but that’s alright. I’m going to bed now, but I’ll try to have a round up tomorrow night.
There are bad ideas, there are terrible ideas, and then there is celebrity MMA. According the the New York Post’s Page Six, 
Sad. 
This card is perceived to weaker, especially in the shadows of the New Year’s and Super Bowl cards. However, I still think we might get to see some good fights. As usual, the roundup of what others are saying, and my predictions, after the jump: